I am uneasy
these days. I am on a road but am not certain where it is going to come out at
the end. It makes me feel absolutely petrified. We are likely to lose some good
friends in Congressional races. Early next year, we will face sequestration and
issues with debts and deficits. There will be increased emphasis on a shrinking
role for government. The Administration’s budget will continue to face pressure
and be an issue for us. It may be worse than 2012 and 2013. I am not sure where
we will land. I think about how to get us to 2014 – to celebrate our 40th
anniversary. I am haunted by wondering if we have done everything humanly
possible to get us there.
There is a
storm coming that is going to make it difficult for domestic programs,
particularly poverty programs. As I talk with more and more Members – Republicans
or Democrats, Senate or House, Conservative or Liberal –they all suggest that a
huge reordering of government is coming. The fault lines are over taxes and
entitlement reforms, with pressure on domestic discretionary spending. I am increasingly
haunted by the worry of whether I have done everything I can to get through the
next 18 months, until 2014. There is a test coming, a battle being waged. I am
worried if I have done everything humanly possible to prepare for it.
There are interest
groups around town, people around the country, asking, do you think Community
Action will survive? Will you make it through next year? What are you going to
do when the program goes away? It is an uncomfortable feeling and it is at
moments like this I wish Sargent Shriver was still around. There are other
people in Community Action that have come and gone as well. There were some
great people that are no longer with us I wish I could talk to.
Every Sunday
night, I have trouble sleeping as my mind is filled with these thoughts. My
mind is revved up with things I have to do the following day, going over my
mental checklist of everything that has to get done. It is not a good feeling
and I hope it goes away. I hope it becomes a sort of nice dream about how
nicely things are going to turn out.